back in my world

I don't know if I am gonna be as emo and sad as last night but I'll just try to expose my feelings again...yeah...you guessed...something happened again as always...new day=>new feelings and emotions, totally uncomfortable..
I feel again abandoned because I haven't got the meaning of the word "friend" in my mind....some people I thought they were my friends...even my best friends, didn't changed a word with me today....funny,huh? Imagine how it feels to have noone to talk with..I need a cat...my lovely Butzu.I'd give anything to have him with me now, to tell him that I am writing about him...but WTF am I saying?:)) of course he wouldn't understand anything...and of course he won't answer if I try to call...Damn it!!!
I'd like to meet new people every day...to communicate with different personalities, to change my friends daily so I can not get to suffer from my actual friends...if I really have some anyway.I am so lonely...
I hate accidents like someone missing and I, the reserve, get to speak with the ones who come to me just because their usual partner is not there....oh but it's lovely when he or she comes back and of course the reserve takes back its place as a statue ready to move just when the signal of an accident is given....horrible...terrible!!!Now it's weekend time and I know that it's gonna be a very boring one beacuse I have nothing to do...Oh wait..on Monday I'll go rollerskating with my class mates:X...you see...I am finally narrating a happy activity....strongly linked to socialization..and fun..and bliss...not sad and emo stuff.
But my mind is just too crossed out to make the difference between happiness and sadness so I have so many notable events every day that I get mixed up and I don't care anymore..
On Tuesday...I'll hope that my life will become normal again and that I am gonna speak with my best friends that let me down...[oh i was sick too and they did not care a bit]...and I will concentrate on my new friends that help me and care about me [not imaginary yet:))] and I will just let the life flow...and I will probably be in a good mood...[let me think...is there any test on Tuesday..cause if it's something like that...I will be the best friend of everyone...funny isn't it?...and then i will be forgotten again by 3 or 4 people:)))...and slowly by all of them...and then i will take again the cycle of my life and again and again and again:))...hope I'll recover from my illness soon:)]
so another emo post.....and I promised it'll be different sorry...
tomorrow I will probably be happy and find an interesting subject to discuss about
nb:))and fluffy sleep;)