something happened

Well, hi..I am Andrei diz..and I decided that this night is absolutely perfect to create my blog....well i must give that to bogdan and alexandra,2 of my colleagues, cause they gave me this idea.

But they used their blogs for their own aims...and well i use mine for my purpose...to find me as i said.

I feel lost..I need someone...something strange happened to my mind a while ago. I just can't describe it..it's too complicated and i hope nobody will ever get this...I strongly think that's a disease, a virus that attacks my mind and my soul especially..I need a pshycologist or maybe a cat:)) to talk to cause noone has ever tried to understand me..not even my mother. so how could i expect help from anyone else?

well, it's kinda difficult. i probably speak alone because noone will be interested in this blog, but i still write:D.

I am really gealous sometimes and i feel very attacked when someone tries to "steal" my friends...well, not really steal, but dunno, i feel horrible when they spend less time with me and don't show me the friendship we should have, and the "stealer" takes my place, gaining place into the other's mind, and getting me out slowly. this is how i feel, although it's not always as it happens and sometimes i am really paranoic. Recently this has happened a lot around me, especially at highschoool, so i feel lonely and empty inside..there are not many people that don't give me this feeling...but my own best friends throw it to me..what could i do?how could i change?i just need help..

the person i fell in love with last year totally ignores me...and i remember that we used to be best friends..inseparable and totally attached more or less to each other. i suffer a lot now, but i try to hide it because nobody cares anyway and it's pointless to continue hoping that someday we'll be the same as last year..I just miss her.

I hate to be in a circle and everyone look at me...well it's a kind of allergy against attention; but,even funnier is that i hate to be let behind and noone talk to me or say something to me...in fact, i hate seeing nobody speaks to me,but everyone else..it annoys me very much.

everyone runs from me or someone comes to me...there are days and days...I can't realise what's my purpose in this life...what do i have to do?...why can't i just live my life and let it pass alongside me, as most of the people do..

Iwonder if i am the only one that feels this way..it's terrifiant.

I just need a friend.

But still I love my life...i don't have many phisical problems... My strong defect is that i am too shy...and it's very difficult for me to integrate into a group of people...cause i just can't keep up. Probably that's why I got this "virus" i described earlier.:-?? I hope someday I'll begin to understand what I really am and how could I change or become stronger.

Chiar cred ca poate odata imi voi reveni!

multumesc oricui citeste si are rabdare sa inteleaga...stiu ca e cam emo dar eu nu sufar intr-una chiar daca asa pare in tot ce-am scris..cand ma simt mai bine, voi face postari mai cool asa:)..

good night